Hey Everyone,

How is everyone doing?  Not as bad as me probably seeing as I am 
tired of seeing the same old DUMB commentators and Analyst doing 
basketball games.  I am Mario Echeverria, for those who do not know 
who I am, I am a senior at the University of San Francisco, AKA 
"Harvard Team-B". I have read many of the topics that have been written 
and I finally decided to write about something.  Hey it takes me awhile 
to build up something so good that i need to share it with you.   

Some people have already talked about bad commentators in the NBA.  
Yes they do exist people.  They are basically, how do i phrase this, 
CRAP!!!!  That pretty much sums it up, I'm done I will see you guys later!  
No I'm just kidding, let me give you guys my own created:  


MARIO'S TOP 5 WORST COMMENTATORS OR ANALYST FOR THE NBA
 

5) Sean Elliot - How do I say this nicely...crap to the 
second power. All I ever hear from Elliot is about when he 
played in the NBA. HEY GUY, I don't want to know about 
your past, focus on the game... oh wait, thats why you
are talking about your past, because you do not know 
what the hell isgoing on!! Excuse my anger, I am very 
upset at the fact that these people are getting air time 
                     and I am not. HAHA

4) Danny Ainge - YES HE IS STILL ALIVE!  I couldn't 
believe it until i fell asleep watching a game that he was 
commentating on.  HEY AINGE when did you retire??? 
Lets keep it that way and stay retired.  I do not want to 
know what you think about basketball because you never 
dominated the league and you were never the MVP of 
   anything.  Maybe for the ugliest Guard to ever play the game!  Go home, 
   take care of your kids, because I feel bad that they are getting beat up 
   at school by bullies like me who are telling them that their DAD equals 
   Crap on television.

3) Greg Anthony - Wait, weren't you on the bench last 
season?  How the hell did you get a job??? I think Anthony 
over here had to "GIVE" (If you know what I mean, 
wink-wink) a little something to get ahead in the business 
because his basketball skills weren't cutting it.  I don't 
know if I am the only person that noticed this, but why does 
   Greg Anthony still stutter after every word?  I would think the 
   nervouseness would go away after 82 games in a season of NBA 
   basketball?  Don't you guys have classes for that at ESPN AND ABC?? 
   Come on, who is working the front office over there???  Where are the 
   latino commentators, we did invent the  
   "GOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL" Come on 
   guys, we can definitely do better than Anthony over here.  Just do us a 
   favor and quit and come wash my car!

2) Tom Tolbert - BY FAR, THE GREATEST BENCH 
WARMER TO COME OUT OF THE NBA! Hey Tolbert 
who wants to hear what you think about the game and 
the players?  You cant even guard 99.9 percent of the 
guys on the court.  Know Your Role and Shut Your 
Mouth!  The towel boy got more playing time than you 
   did in the Pros, and the back-up towel boy was called up for practices 
   more often because it was better competition and practice for the team.  
   I do not want to hear you talk anymore about anything affiliated with the 
   NBA because you never played in it!  Get the hell out of here!  Hey 
   ESPN, I'll pay you to put me on the air, please save us from this Crap! 
   The only thing I like about Tom Tolbert is that he disses the person who 
   is number 1 on my list alot, but that doesn't hold up for the whole season.

I don't know what 
he's talking about...
I'm way better than 
Tom Tolbert.

AND FINALLY #1) Bill Walton - HEY WALTON, YOU ARE BORING, 
DUMB, OLD, AND DID I MENTION BORING!  Come on, how old are you?  
When did you play in the NBA, did you play with Bill Russell?  It is 
pretty bad that your biggest accomplishment as a 
commentator is creating the phrase "THROW IT 
DOWN BIG MAN, THROW IT DOWN!"  Shut the 
hell up!  He only says it because he never dunked 
when he was a basketball player.  By the way, I 
wish Shaq could play one on one with you in your 
prime and he could just sit you on the floor after 
he dunked on your grill.  You do not know anything 
about basketball and you were lucky that you were 
one of the few big men of your time, because i 
would never even pick you up on my intramural 
                               team.  Why don't you retire and wait to get money 
                               off your sons when they reach the NBA?  I think that 
                               is the best bet, we save our ears from hearing your 
crap and ESPN saves money and gains ratings.  Damn I'm good!  I should 
solve world hunger right now!  Maybe I will save it for after the NBA 
playoffs.  You are lucky I feel sorry for you Walton, that you had a speech 
impediment before you became a commentator.  Wait a second, you are 
number one on my list!  Hell no!!  I wish you still had that speech 
impediment so that your commentating would be a lot better!!

There it is, my list!  Thank you for reading and I know some of you feel the 
same way!  I am tired of  re-arranging my sock drawer rather than 
watching an NBA game.  Whatever happend to Bob Costas, Mike Fratello, 
and Marv Albert doing the commentating together.  That was awesome!!  
Please NBA, help the true fans out or there won't be any left!!  Thank you!  
Oh and Raf, Jean Gray doesn't die!!! It tells you at the end of the movie what
happens to her, come on guy, get it right, haha (you know i love ya).  
PEACE OUT AND GO LAKERS 4-PEAT!

         

[Please note, the above opinions are not held or endorsed by  
Nicademiks.com....unless you like them...then we do endorse them.]
         

- May 13, 2003

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