The
Girls of Kristi House
By
Rafael Alvarado
The following page is dedicated to my co-workers at Kristi House in Miami. Thanks for making my
Miami experience a great one. I miss everyone very much.
Disclaimer: The following introductions were written at an altitude of 50,000 feet during my
flight back to the San Francisco, aka The Sucka Free. So if you are wondering why some of it is
written in third person or you have issues with what has been written, please blame the altitude and
the cabin pressure. For entertainment purposes only...its all in good fun. [More Pictures Here]
The Kristi House Team Leaders
Stephanie "Big Hoops" Mayoliz: - Known as one of the more kind
and inviting members of the Kristi House family, Stephanie is always
there to provide butter to your morning bread. Although currently
residing in Miami, this NY transplant will always cheer for her Bronx
Bombers and rock those "big hoop" earrings (Rochester style).
Favorite chocolate: Almond Joy.
Personal Shout Out: Thanks for being patient with my daily 21 questions
and making me feel at home at Kristi House from day # 1.
Maria Clara "Publix Salami" Buckley - Considered the Kristi
House drug dealer [she sells Herbalife products], this KH member is
best known for her love of Twix, as well as her love of bossing around
coworkers ("Trabaja Rafael, trabaja..."). Her favorite pastime: touching
up photographs with a black sharpie marker.
Personal Shout Out: Now that I'm gone, who's going to accompany you
to Publix? Thanks so much for everything...of all the Colombians on the
Case Coordination team, you are by far my favorite. Remember not to
neglect your stress ball, he gets bored very easily.
Bila "Drop Bombs" Louima - Known for her hairstyling abilities and
afternoon massages, this Kristi House member is also very adept at
playing practical jokes on co-workers. Played the illest phone prank on
yours truly by calling in pretending to be a rude (very rude) Protective
Investigator. She did such a good job, that I'm still mad at a lady that
apparently doesn't exist.
Personal Shout Out: Thanks for being so kind and considerate, including
getting "your hair did" so we could take pictures on my last day. Did You
Know: Bila also infamously dropped a bomb on Stephanie Roque.
Gloria Miranda - By far, the best Secret Santa an individual could
wish for; this CC Team Member is best known for her comic grace and
articulate conversations. Can carry a conversation on any topic, ranging
from defending Wynona Rider's kleptomania to morning sports
conversations over coffee.
Personal Shout Out: Thanks for the Gap shirt, the Cuban food and Sports
Illustrated magazines. The magazine clippings looked nice on my board,
even though Maria Clara thought the football players looked like criminals.
P.S. I couldn't come up with a nickname for you, sorry...just ask Nicole,
she'll hook you up.
Stephanie "The Rock" Roque - Considered the pioneer of the Kristi
House Team for being the first Canadian ever to join the squad [Note:
Actually, I'm not sure if that is completely accurate, but play along anyway].
This KH member is best known for rocking out to Christina Aguilera and
vehemently defending Martha Stewart's criminal activities (she's going
down!). A controversial figure, Steph likes to add a dash of Anti-
Americanism with a pinch of blaming men for the evil of the world into her
daily conversations.
Personal Shout Out: Thanks for buying my stuff Roque, you made moving
back to California possible.
Nicole "In Da Club" Sanz - Known for her appreciation of fire fighters
and men in uniform, Nicole was always there to provide much needed
club information to a Miami newcomer as well as paperwork for CC
support to file away. Nicole also has a creative streak, giving coworkers
such great nicknames as "Mouse" and the "Grim Reaper".
Personal Shout Out: Thanks for everything: the kindness, the nicknames,
the club info. I miss having you barge into my office unannounced while
I ate my lunch. Say what up to your partner in crime, Janet, for me.
The
Kristi House Case Coordinators
Michelle "El Efuerzo" Hernandez - This Kristi House member gives
meaning to the phrase: "it's the effort that counts". On his quest to get
into Oxygen, Michelle made every effort to get Rafael and friends into this
selective night club. However, due to unforeseen forces of nature
[actually, it was Oxygen's five-foot-tall Brazilian female bouncer] Raf & Co.
were twice unsuccessful. On the third attempt, success was achieved...
thanks Michelle.
Personal Shout Out: Thanks for always making the effort to help a brother
out, even though things didn't always work out. P.S. Tell Daphne she still
owes me $150 for the bed she never picked up. Please send check to
"Poor Nicaraguan Moving Charities, 1000 Pinolero Road, San Francisco,
California 94112."
The Friends of Case Coordination
Xiomara Sanchez - You know, I could really use some jocotes right about now. No more lunch
time runs to the fritanga for me...you're gonna have to keep the tradition alive.
Azanet Cabezas - My label-making days are now over...I hope you've found someone else to
supervise. I really miss hearing the sounds effects you make as you walk up and down the halls.
Rima Shahin - It was like having family away from home. Thank you for always looking out for
me, protecting me from the mistreatment Maria Clara was all too willing to dish out. Remember,
not too many Snoop Dogg concerts for the kids.
Pinolero
Jeromey
