First off, this article must begin with the first thing on my mind...dayum! 
Jumana Kidd is a fine ass woman. Jason Kidd must be from the Bay,
 and I'll bet that cat pops his collar every freakin' morning he wakes up 
next her...Kidd definitely turned 
around that New Jersey 
franchise. The team is even 
stronger than last year's squad 
that reached the NBA finals, 
but were pummeled by a solid 
Laker gang clad in purple and 
gold. What people may not 
realize, however, is that this is 
J. Kidd's final year of his Nets 
contract. Come this summer, 
the man, who many consider 
to be the best point guard in 
the league, is going to be a 
free-agent...hmmm, could a 
possible return to the Bay be 
in the stars?? I'd package Arenas, 
Dunleavy, and a couple burritos 
from Fruitvale to get #5 back where 
it all started...the East Bay. 

Speaking of the Warriors...not too shabby fellas. Let it be known that 
the Oaktown ballers have theoretically been in just about every game 
this year, with perhaps their only blow-out loss coming from the 
Sacramento Kings back in December. 

Lou Seal may be getting restless after a long winter, but keep your 
head up...pitchers, catchers, and injured players report to Spring 
training on February 13th. Can u dig it?! 

Speaking of catchers...Pudge hasn't signed with anybody yet...matter 
of fact...there are a bunch of free agents out there still looking for places 
to hang their hats. Expect a free agent frenzy after the Super Bowl 
concludes. Let's hope Brian Sabean has something up his sleeve...
c'mon now, tell Magowan to sell a few Safeway stores and bring another 
bat to the Bay. 

The "Remember there are starving children in Africa" story of the day: 
Word on the streets is that Allen Iverson's mom was out and about one 
day running errands. After a long day of 
shopping she misplaced her vehicle. She 
simply could not remember where she parked. 
So, what does Mrs. Iverson do...she hails a 
cab and goes to the local auto dealership to 
get a new set of wheels!! A crazy, but true 
story courtesy of my reliable sources...guess 
nobody ever told Mrs. Answer to "Remember 
there are starving children in Africa." 


Speaking of automobiles...Lebron James has been rumored to have 
been seen driving a brand new Hummer. Controversy?? Shoot...let 
the kid have the car. Someone is making money off of him already 
(basketball tours, ESPN2 telecasts, pay per view tv broadcasts, etc.) 
So, don't knock him for driving a Hummer...but don't be surprised if 
his Mom forgets where she parked it and goes to buy a replacement. 

The World is Yours. 


Sucka Free writer Jerome La Torre, whose Big Book of Bay Area Slang 
will be published next spring in collaboration with E-40, will be appearing 
here regularly and irregularly during the offseason offering his weekly 
dose of sucka repellant. 



- Tuesday, January 14, 2003 

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